After the BIG Blow Up on Tuesday night, a deep discussion last night, I think we are better today. I'm thinking it was good for her to release all the emotion and anger she has had built up for nine months. Steff believes I write this blog like we are a perfect happy family not dealing with much. I disagree. Perhaps I don't pour my complete concern or fear of the situation like I once did, but it's mostly b/c I know she reads it. Do I worry every single minute of every day about her? yes. I am very concerned about the episode she had Monday at school, the fact that her brain was telling her body what to do and it would not respond. Hell yes, that scares me to death. Does her knowing how scary this entire NINE months for me has been make things better for her? I doubt it. Today, I think I have made the decision to stop blogging about all this. My heart is heavy and sometimes I just don't feel like dealing with all this. The main thing I want to get across to each and everyone of you ~ I LOVE THIS GIRL AND I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET HER BACK TO THE VIBRANT CAREFREE GIRL SHE ONCE WAS. There may be changes in our lives as we get there, but we will be okay.
She is very angry with me, as one might expect. I did make the decision to get her these shots that have turned our lives upside down, against her judgment I might add. I pay the price every single day. BUT how could I have known? She is angry, period. I understand. I am angry as well. I'm angry that she can't just be a normal Senior, a carefree teen loving life. Yes, it sucks and it's not fair. But I'll keep fighting the fight. Know that. I will NEVER give up. I'm out ~ love to all.